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: For those who have to rent a car, here are my 10 rules that will help you to survive in highway traffic: : 1. When you enter a highway, do not accelerate immediately. Cross all lanes without looking in a mirror or turning your head and seek the passing lane. Stay in the passing lane at all cost. : 2. When you exit a highway, make sure that you stay in the passing lane as long as possible. Cut over to the exit ramp without looking in a mirror or turning your head. : 3. When you travel in the passing lane (following rule 1) and there happens to be another car in the lane on your right, slow down or speed up to the speed of the other car. Keep the speed for the next 5 miles. : 4. When you are in the passing lane of a 3-lane highway and there are 2 cars in the lanes on your right, slow down or speed up to the speed of the other cars. Keep the speed for the next 10 miles. Make sure no other car can pass you. : 5. If your car happens to have a working blinker, do not use it, especially not if you intend to turn or change lanes. : 6. When you stop at a gas station, make sure to leave your engine running while filling up gas. The 'Stop Engine/Don't Smoke' signs are not meant to be taken seriously by true Americans. : 7. If your car has fog lights, make sure to turn them on only on sunny days or in clear nights. If your car does not have fog lights, you should add some. Make sure they are not adjusted and blind other drivers. : 8. When you are hauling something on a pickup truck, do not secure the load. Make sure the lid is removed so that things can easily fall off. : 9. Never check the tire pressure. Don't replace tires unless they explode or just fall apart. If they don't explode, loosen the screws and lose a wheel on a highway. : 10. Hold on to that coffee mug. Use your knees to steer if you need the left hand to hold the cellphone.